When someone needs to solve a problem, you can organize your listening skills using the process outlined below.
Some important caveats to this process:
• Encourage people to focus on their own side of a story, not imagine what someone else is doing or might do as it is impossible to solve a problem with a third person who isn't there.
• Refrain from advising, commiserating, judging, and leading. This is their problem, not yours.
You can use these written steps the first few times, but eventually the steps will just come naturally:
Hear the story. Ask the person to tell you their story. You can say:
"What's going on?"
"How would you describe the problem?"
"Tell me about it?"
Reflect back the main points of what the person said, making sure to include feelings, what's important to them, and the basic outline of the story. If they correct you, great; you get a chance to reflect back to them the correction.
Name the problem. Before you can solve the problem you have to name it. Also, the only problems we can solve are issues that exist in present time. Ask and tell them:
"What's the problem in the present moment?"
"What is still a problem?"
"What can you do anything about?"
Reflect back their answers.
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Explore the problem. Ask questions about what they've done/could do to solve the problem like: (Reflect back their answers)
"What have you tried to do so far about this problem?"
"What has worked in the past?"
"What would someone you respect do?"
"What does your wisest self say to do?"
"Got any ideas what you could do?"
Encourage them to make a choice about what they are going to do, including doing nothing. (Reflect back their answers)
"What are you going to do?"
"When and how that will this happen?"
"What will happen if you don't do this?"
"What might happen if you do this?"
By Marcia McReynolds of Listening Planet. She teaches people how to really listen through workshops, The Listening Cards ™, and public speaking.
It has been proven that listening helps increase a patient's chances of healing. |
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• The Listening Place
• Pledge of Listening:
Listening should be taught in schools
• Make Molehills Out of Mountains
• Problem Solving Process
• Listening for Sustainability
• Meditations on Listening
• Depression Sign of Missed Calling
• Path to Unconditional Happiness
• Guerilla Mediation Steps
• Listening to Emotional Blocks
in the Body |
